And a Partridge in a Pear Tree
by Kathrine
Summary: It seems that every year the celebration gets a little more out of hand with Prowl as an unwilling referee.  But 'tis the season, right?


"–_and a partridge in a pear treeeee!"_

Prowl regarded the cacophony that had taken over the rec room of the Ark and kept his even expression by main force of will. _If I react, it will only encourage them to wilder acts than this._ The press of living beings within the rec room – both mechanical and organic – made the normally spacious room seem tiny. Even with the cheerful and rowdy singing now finished, there was still an ever-present hum of sound, with some beings louder than others.

And it was starting to smell.

"I am going back to my office," Prowl said finally. "When I return this evening, I expect that everything will be set back to rights. I don't want to see a single feather remaining."

A fellow black-and-white lowed, seemingly in agreement, and Prowl favored it with a sardonic glance. "And please be sure to return the cows to their pastures, and the assorted birds you have collected to their _proper_ environments," he added. "I do not think that any of you wish to be responsible for the amount of cleanup they will require." And with that, he turned smartly on his heel and swiftly retreated to the safety of his office, willfully ignoring the snickers rising from behind him.

* * *

When Jazz quietly slipped into Prowl's office some time later, he found the tactician seated behind his desk, his optics shuttered and his head cradled between his hands.

"I must admit," Prowl said, his voice muffled, after the door slid shut behind Jazz, "I was not expecting a reenactment of _The Twelve Days of Christmas_."

"Yeah, they really outdid themselves this year," Jazz replied. "But hey, no harm done, right?"

"Hmm. Is the rec room clear?"

"Mostly. Th' animals have all gone back – Sides' was makin' noises 'bout keeping one of th' cows—" Sideswipe had actually wanted to make it a pet and name it 'Prowl', but had been dissuaded eventually, and Prowl hardly needed to know thatbit "—but it's all sorted out now. 'Bout the only danger now is all the tinsel Carly's been throwin' around."

"I doubt Ratchet will be pleased if we have a repeat of The Tinsel Affair," Prowl commented dryly, and Jazz grinned. Tinsel seemed to get in everywhere and Ratchet had near thrown a fit the year before last when he'd had several 'bots in his Med Bay with the shiny stuff caught between joints in staggering amounts.

"Everyone promised to be good, an' Ratch promised dire punishment for anyone who _wasn't_." he said, and Prowl hummed in agreement. Jazz noted with some concern that he still hadn't lifted head from his hands. "Prowler? You doin' okay?"

"We have been on this planet a decade now," Prowl said, "and every Christmas the Ark is turned into a war zone of 'bots and humans attempting to outdo each other in more and more extravagant gifts and festivities. I am _tired_ of it, Jazz." That last was almost plaintive, and Jazz was hard pressed to hide his sympathetic grin.

"I'll see if I can get 'em to tone it down a little next year." Jazz offered, and Prowl finally raised his head.

"No," he said with an odd little smile, his expression almost rueful, "this is something they enjoy. And it _is_ only once a year, after all."

"An' it's a better war zone than the one we're in, right?" Jazz said shrewdly, and Prowl's smile turned bittersweet.

"Indeed," he replied. Then he seemed to give himself a metaphorical shake, straightening within his chair and gathering his title of Second in Command around him like a cloak. "Speaking of which, Optimus has sent an information packet from the White House. It seems that the members of the UN wish for further assurances on the Decepticon threat…"

Jazz tucked the small bits of closeness that Prowl had shared with him away in his memory banks and opened himself to work. There was a war to survive, and he was determined that they would all enjoy another year and another crazy Christmas…and that he would gain a few more of Prowl's elusive small smiles to add to the collection he was slowly amassing.

* * *

**A/N: ** Written for the ProwlxJazz LJ community's Christmas challenge. No cows were harmed in the making of this fic. Happy Christmas, everyone!


End file.
